


Forgiveness isn't Free

by LenaLuthor15



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:47:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27132691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenaLuthor15/pseuds/LenaLuthor15
Summary: How the fight in 4X09 could have given us different results. Basically this is the fix-it fic we all needed but never knew that we did.
Relationships: Astra Logue/Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi, John Constantine/Gary Green, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe, Sara Lance/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 22
Kudos: 20





	1. But first we hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers, this is my first avalance fic, so I hope you guys like it and let me know in the comment section about your thoughts and what do you wish to read next. Please drop a like and your comments are so so welcomed. I'm not giving any more details because I'd like to keep an element of surprise about the fix-it. Thank you so much for reading. Until next time-Shay.

Sara was livid. She was also in a lot of pain, but it was nothing compared to the hollowness she was feeling since the night Ava has told her to get out.

At first she thought that Ava needed time and would come back to her when she was ready to talk things through. That she of all people would understand why Sara would be against torturing those magical creatures.

All those years of being tortured and torturing to survive, whether it was lian yu, or the league of assassins, no matter what people thought about her she never wanted to go through that again or sit back and see any living breathing being, be it a creature or human or alien get hurt like that.

But no, everyone but her girlfriend understood her point of view, everyone but her girlfriend came to comfort her and it broke her heart like never before.

It's been 21 days, since they had last seen each other, she had tried calling, texting, apolozing through any way she could but Ava ignored her efforts and told her to leave her alone again.  
She had heard through Gary that Ava has considered telling her to get out as a permanent break up and has confided in him that she didn't love Sara anymore, maybe she never ever did. Sara of course went to confront the other woman but she saw Ava hugging a blonde woman in front of her apartment and since then Sara has been in constant agony. The anger welled up inside of her and she couldn't take it anymore.

21 days since she was left alone, heartbroken and in darkness, this is what she gets, Ava moving on.

But on the 22nd day things took a turn for the better until eventually everything would go to hell, as it always happened with the legends.

Relief came in the form of Felicity Smoak.

The legends were solving a level 3 anachronism in star city when they ran into Felicity and after the mission was successful Sara had offered her to show the ship and catch up in her office and the techie had immediately agreed. And that's how they found themselves curled up in the captain's quarters, drinking wine and watching a crappy movie. Cuddling and holding hands.

The conversation flowed easily between them as it always did. And when Felicity expressed her grief about losing Oliver, Sara put her glass down and hugged her so tightly that she could hear Felicity's heartbeat against her own. Losing Oliver was like losing a limb. She lost her dad earlier that year and now Oliver's death was the last straw in losing her sanity. She had nothing left to live for. Not anymore. Felicity had asked about Ava and she had told her everything from the first time they met and how Ava had hated her and how maybe she always did hate her but somehow Sara had manipulated her into this relationship and now the cloud of their love was up in smokes and Ava had left her without any explanation or a chance to explain herself.

She couldn't compare her pain with Felicity's. She had lost her best friend, husband and the father of her children. And Ava was still alive, she just hated her now more than ever. That's the only progress she has had in her relationship with the director.

She lifted her head from where it was resting on Felicity's chest. She was done feeling broken and she knew that somehow what they both needed was a night of belongingness and warmth. Also, she had always found the hacker cute af and she had never failed to mention that to her so why stop now. She gently caressed Felicity's cheeks and brought her face closer to hers so she could give her a quick peck, testing the waters.

After a few seconds of Felicity just blinking at her, she recoiled. She was about to apologize for making her feel uncomfortable when the hacker threaded her fingers through her blonde locks and kissed her deeply. From the corner of her eyes she could see someone watching them through a portal discreetly, so now she has decided to come to her. Well it was too late. But, if Sara was anything she was a people pleaser and if Ava wanted to see a show that's what she'll get.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been 21 days without Sara and all she could think about was those blue eyes, freckled cheeks and pouty lips wherever she went. She was wrong, she was so wrong. Ava realized her mistake when she had tried to move on with someone from her office, an agent had asked her out and she had agreed on a whim, and when Sophie, the woman she had went out with for dinner and drinks at a local bar not far from her apartment, had taken her home and tried to kiss her, she had freaked out and almost decked the other woman. Even though she insisted that she had broken up with Sara whenever someone would bring up the captain, kissing someone else felt like cheating on the blonde woman she loved so much. She apologized to Sophie and left her standing outside her apartment confused, but missed her ex girlfriend portalling back after seeing them together. She had spent all night figuring out how to apologize to her girl, well to make Sara her girl again basically and make up to her for being so cold and cruel. So on the 22nd night she went to portal directly into her quarters, ready to beg on her knees if that's what it took to get Sara's forgiveness.

But when she got there, her heart felt like it was being crushed and tears welled up in her eyes. She was too late.

But she couldn't move. She couldn't stop watching, as another woman held Sara, kissed her, moaned in her ears.  
Sara was hers, how could she...  
But she knew it was her own doing.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara's pov-

"I am sorry if this is too much Sara, I have always wanted to kiss you" she said blushing as she buried her face in my neck.

I stroked her back as she sat on my lap, "No it's perfect, you're perfect."

I took hold of her face and kissed her more firmly. She moaned a little as I pressed our chests closer and started moving my hands down her thighs. I kissed her again, sucked her tongue and made her moan loudly as I pinched her nipples with my fingers. I heard the wind rustle as if someone's portal was just hovering over wondering whether to fully close or stay hidden. Feeling like giving the person a show, I pushed her dress up and plunged two fingers inside her without warning, she was so wet that I added two more fingers and started kissing down her neck. Felicity was moaning my name so loud that I'm sure the whole ship must have heard but I only cared about the person who was still hovering near the corner of my room. I sucked and bit her neck as I kept moving my fingers at a mad pace and she came screaming my name at the top of her lungs but I wasn't done with her yet, I motioned for her to turn around and moved to put the lights off, Ava has seen enough. It was a clear indication for her to know that I knew she was watching, plus she was the one with the time courier so it's her choice whether to stay or go.

"Get on all fours and close your eyes."

She let out a groan as she closed her eyes but she knows better than to question me. She was always so willing and eager to please me, even after all these years.

I shuffled through my drawer to find my little surprise for her and moved to stand behind her.

I started kissing down her back and ran a finger through her wet folds, she shuddered as I started massaging her clit. Making sure she was wet enough I moved my fingers away from her and took a few steps behind to step into the harness. I heard someone's breathe hitch and I'm sure it wasn't Felicity.

I went behind her once again and started to rub the tip of the strap on against her wet folds, this time it was her whose breath hitched. She moaned in anticipation as I went straight to fucking her mercilessly.

The bed shook by the force of my thrusts and I took hold of her hair and pulled as I slowed down and fucked her more thoroughly.

"You like it, don't you? when I fuck you like this, with the door unlocked, anyone can walk in and see you getting fucked like a bitch hmm?" I asked as squeezed her nipples and gave her a hard thrust.

"Yes mistress," she whispered as she started feeling her orgasm coming.

I picked up my pace and started massaging her clit with my free hand, she shuddered and moaned loudly as she came and we both collapsed on the bed. She turned around and kissed me soundly, I loved kissing her, her lips were soft and so willing against mine. We made out for a little while but when she moved her hand lower I stopped her. I muttered an excuse about being too tired but she understood. I didn't wanna be touched by anyone but Ava. I turned around and the portal was gone...but that was a worry for another day. I moved aside and motioned for Felicity to lay her head on my chest and I kissed her forehead as we both went off to sleep.


	2. Running For you, From you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Time stops for no one."

_spell your name_   
_with the tip of your tongue_   
_against the roof of my mouth_   
_I belong to the sound of your name_   
_I belong to the dust in your way_   
_so don't walk past my fears, come here_   
_wipe away my tears_   
_before bedtime we're over..._   
_it's getting a little dull and my vision is all blurred, I'm out here wandering with no destination, baby it's raining in_   
_mid January, remember we met on the 17th_   
_two weeks hot_   
_many oceans between our love..._   
_6 layers of clothing and a very old heart_   
_I was a nobody with a forgettable face_   
_full of nervous energy and anxious thoughts, even my dreams are about you now_   
_whenever I get any sleep, I dream about you_   
_these days I question if I was ever over you_   
_I lied to your worries, yeah that's true_   
_to turn grey, to be good, my retribution_   
_long overdue, look around is there anyone with no intentions to hurt? you sniped through my soul, now I'm like a worthless bot_   
_with no feelings, in shadows I live like a_   
_shallow being_   
_damn your believing and your blue drinks..._   
_was I too late_   
_when I asked you to wait_   
_was it too much_   
_when I said let's take a break_   
_cause I'm still confused_   
_what went wrong with us_   
_and I'm afraid to know the answer_   
_was I too much for you to bear?_   
_baby don't leave me hanging by_   
_the door of your room..._   
_in my head I'm waiting for an excuse_   
_baby I thought we were getting stronger_   
_but now my heart's hungry again_   
_cause you left a black spot on my vision_   
_I can't see anyone but you_   
_I can't talk to people without_   
_wishing they were you_   
_oh now I am out and about_   
_running away from my life_   
_I wish I had known how to live on my own without you and I know_   
_we have had some good months, all good terms, you did loved me once and I'm sorry we were a secret, so sacred, I didn't mean to keep the distance_   
_but now like strangers we pass in the hallways...._

____________________________________________

They say your whole life flashes in front of your eyes when you're about to die. And right now at this moment all Sara could see were the tidbits of her relationship with Ava as she took her last breathe.

____________________________________________

It's been a week since they last saw each other. She had dropped Felicity back to star city because she wasn't ready to let go of what she had with Ava yet and the hacker had another destiny, another lifetime waiting for her, promised by the hands of the monitor.

It wasn't fair for any of them to keep up the ruse that it would go anywhere with their hearts still tied up with their other halves.

Sara had came back to her room and drank herself to sleep every day and night after that. There were no major anachronisms for the legends anyway.

There had been an eerie silence all around her, the hole in her heart aching ever since that night... when she made Ava watch, well not exactly, Ava could have left if she wanted to do so. She had made her choices very clear so why now, why was Sara feeling guilty when she was the one who got dumped in the first place. Maybe... well there's no point of wondering about any maybes now. 

Ava broke up with her, went for a date with someone else and she saw them about to kiss, so why now? 

She had a lot of questions but no one to answer them for her. She thought about apolozing but she just didn't know what to say. So she drank, slept off her misery and didn't talk about her feelings, three things she was very good at.  
____________________________________________

Heartbreak was a bitch. And Ava couldn't seem to find a cure. All she could think about was Sara. Whenever she went to work she longed to see her favourite legend again, she waited for blonde hair and icy blue eyes to barge into her office and sit at her desk and demand her to go home early so they could cook dinner together, drink some wine and kiss away their troubles and cuddle. She longed for that cute smile and that childlike voice her girlfriend used to adapt around her cats and she missed those strong arms around her even if she was the taller one. She always found comfort in her goofball.

But she didn't know how things could ever be the same way now, now that she had seen them...them... together in her bed... in their bed like that. She knew rationally that there's no rulebook, no remedy for a situation like theirs and it wouldn't be fair for to be angry with Sara. Sara didn't cheat on her. But still... still how could they ever get over something like that. 

She knew she shouldn't have watched, but when someone tries to take what's yours, and someone tries to become your replacement, life tends to make you act irrationally. Not like any of that mattered now, nothing mattered anymore except her love for Sara and this dilemma where there's no way out. So she cried herself to sleep every night, went to work and did everything Hank asked of her and let life decide her fate for her.

But little did she know...  
____________________________________________

Monday morning brought a whole bunch of new anachronisms to deal with and a whole bunch of pain which neither the legends nor the time bureau was ready for. Neron had captured and taken over Hank Heywood and due to that had become the head of the bureau and due to that had all the resources to end the legends for once and all. The demon was finally ready to get his revenge and he had found the perfect vessel to accomplish his task.

So he ordered the capture of the legends as soon as he went to claim Hank's throne and that's how Ava found herself in the biggest mess of her life.

On one hand were the rules, the company which was the reason of her existence quite literally... since she was a clone made to be the perfect weapon instead she had fallen for the chainsaw.

The time bureau was all she had ever known and loved... until Sara Lance and the legends came barging through her walls and demanded to be the centre of everything she had. Speaking of the captain, on the other hand was her life and freedom, if she went against her boss he could capture and disable her, and capture the legends anyway. She had to play this one smartly because she knew there's no way Hank would try to hurt Nate. And since Nate was still on the waverider, this couldn't be Hank at all. 

_________________________________________

Sara had woken up that morning all ready to make amends and get her life back on track, but life...Gideon had other plans for her. As soon as she reached her office the chaos was upon her. Apparently their ship was attacked by the time bureau and the legends now with the knowledge of Neron's plans, because of Constantine were already planning to send him back to hell. 

They tried telling the bureau but every agent was under the demon's spell and Ava wasn't picking up their call. Not that Sara expected her to. The director had long since made her choices clear and it was her job she had chosen. 

But when did a legend ever go quietly, right?

Obviously not today.

They tried to fight off the bureau's attacks but their ship was bigger and had better guns, and so they found themselves on their knees in front of Neron/Hank and all his agents who had portalled themselves on the waverider.   
This was so not going according to their plans. They saw Ava standing side by side with Neron and knew that now only she could help them. Sara looked at her team and nodded. They could do this.

"Ava, please listen to me that's not Hank, it's Neron, you have to..."Sara started.

"Yes, that's not my dad Ava, Constantine has proof, give us a chance to explain-"interrupted Nate.

"Oh please, like I would listen to you lot now, it's over legends, you have kept the charade up for so long, it's time that you finally meet some sort of justice," Ava said half looking at Sara and half tilting her face towards Hank trying to figure out a way to save the legends. If only she gets one small opening. Sara seemed to get her plan and so she played along.

They always made a great team.

"No baby, listen please, you're making a mistake..." 

"You're the one who made a mistake Sara and I hope you regret it-

"Enough, it's time to end this game," Neron said pulling his hell gun.

"No," Ava screamed as she saw the demon pointing the gun at Sara.

"I mean, not so soon," Ava quickly recovered her initial outburst. She can't let Sara get hurt. 

"What's the matter director Sharpe, I thought you hated the captain, well I'll save her for you then,"Neron said and put the aim towards Nate this time.

"The bullet's made of steel, so no point in using your powers, son."

"No no, please take me okay? take me I'm their captain, none of this is their fault, I'm the one who made all the decisions and manipulated them into following my lead," Sara screamed at the demon.

"Sara, stop, we're a team okay? You don't have to lie to save us, if we go down, we go together, always," Nate reassured her. 

"Okay, enough of all this emotional drama, we'll bring you to the bureau and see what we should do with you," Neron said and motioned for the agents to take the legends.

Sara knew if they are taken to the time bureau they'll definitely get tortured or worse and she couldn't let her team get hurt like that. No she had to act now and act fast.

There was no time for improv. She had to make a gamble and pray that it works.

The pocket of her jacket was burning holes in her ribs, the promise ring she had kept in it was reminding her of what she could have had and what she had lost knowing she might never get there again. But she had to do something now, she was the captain and this was her team and her responsibility. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see the hell sword Constantine and Astra had bought them, lying near a chair, she just had to move fast and seeing she was the only ex-assassin in the room, that shouldn't be a problem, she winked at Mick and motioned for the sword. He smirked at her and started to tussle with the agents.

She found an opportunity as one of the agents had trouble tying Mick up, ever the legend. Neron was distracted as he cast a spell to render Mick powerless and that gave her the perfect chance to stab him. In his right side. But the legends can't seem to ever make things better before screwing them up, Neron still had control over his agents and his powers so he pushed the captain back with his magic and told the agents to capture them fast. Ava seeing the commotion took the sword this time and stabbed him in his left side, afterall he was still in Hank's body and they couldn't kill Nate's dad. 

Everything happened in slow motion after that.

As Sara was thrown across the room by the demon, her ring had fallen off of her jacket's pocket. An agent was about to shoot her but instead of moving away from the bullet's trajectory, she stretched her hand to grab the ring and the bullet hit her left knee. She tried to get up to fight off the bureau's agents but they shot her again and again before Neron's magic wore off and they fell on the ground alongside the captain who was bleeding profusely. The legends all ran towards her screaming her name but all she could think about was Ava. 

"Sara nooooo...,"Ava screamed as soon as she saw her love bleeding out on the floor of the ship. She ran towards her and put her head in her lap before tying her wounds with her blazer and picking her up.

The legends frantically took their captain to the medbay begging gideon to do something. But even the A.I. was silent. There was just too much blood.

"Baby, it's gonna be okay, I promise, okay, please hold on please, please, you can't leave me, not now okay? not ever,"Ava said frantically as Sara's heart rate seemed to drop. She saw as Gideon started working her magic and for a little while even time stopped.

Sara gained consciousness for a moment and held out her hand showing Ava the promise ring she had bought on a whim last summer, the agent was always doubtful of her job, her relationship, her existence in general and she had wanted to give her something to hold onto, something real and sure and all theirs. But she never found a right moment and it seemed that they have run out of moments to make now.

"Baby, I got it for you, a month ago, but there was never a right time then...and it seems there won't be any time after this now...for us. I'm so sorry Ava, I'm so sorry for everything.... I've always loved you, you're the greatest love of my life and I never meant to hurt..." Sara said choking on her own blood.

"No, no, Sara it wasn't your fault, you did nothing wrong, it's all me, my doubts, my insecurities..."

"But babe..."

"No, none of that matters now babe, all that matters is that you get healed and get back to me baby, so we can spend our lives forgiving and loving each other, alright-"

Suddenly the captain's body started violently shaking as more blood came gushing out of her mouth.

"Sara, Sara???"

"I'm so sorry, director sharpe-

They say your whole life flashes in front of your eyes when you're about to die. And right now at this moment all Sara could see were the tidbits of her relationship with Ava as she took her last breathe.

"Maybe it's that poly-blend pantsuit that's got her so grumpy."

"What's wrong with you people, do you wanna get shot?"

"I always thought you gave nightmares, not had them."

"First time for everything I guess."

"Please come back to me, I need you to come back to me Sara."

"You saved me again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, let me know what you think about this chapter and what you want for the final chapter. it's your choice guys, Sara lives or dies, do we forgive her?
> 
> And thank you so much for reading, your comments are always welcome, let me know what you think-shay ♥️


End file.
